Little hints to help yoo decipher / enjoy 1984

Winston Smith = Squidward Tentacles
Big Brother = SpongeBob SquarePants
O'Brien = George Orwell
Emmanuel Goldstein = Jesus (duh)

Trainwreck

Yoo wudnt ride a horse in the city, becuz it shits everywhere.

Why do we allow trains to pass thru the city, when they coz noise and traffic jams?

Seth MacFarlane

Seth MacFarlane's inner thot process:

"I bet I could make a lot of money by counterfeiting this popular TV show."

"Whoops, I ruined it with my degenerate tendencies."

"Hey, I did make a lot of money!"

Speedy Exit

When all forms of amphetamines are eradicated, some things will quickly disappear.  Such as,

motorcycles
mammograms / breast cancer
housecats
doomsaying news reports
"anti-depressant medications"
bleached hair
helicopters 

First Act

My first act as President would be to eliminate the penny.  And maybe the nickel and dime, too.  With the long term goal of discontinuing physical currency.

My second act would be to end the observance of Daylight Saving Time.

Disappearer

When opiates disappear, other things will disappear as well.

Such as,
trains
leather clothing
mustaches
cigarettes
fedoras
Sonic Youth
syringes
horses
guns

New Mix - "God Grooves"

God Grooves

You're the Inspiration - Chicago
Heathens - twenty one pilots

Orange Crush - R.E.M.

Livin' In the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight - Tiny Tim

Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations

Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon

Across the Universe - Fiona Apple

Love on Top - Beyoncé
The Promise - When In Rome
Will You Still Love Me? - Chicago
The Big Hand - The Cure

The Same Old Song

For ages, people's formula for life has been

Take drugs
Lie to the kids
Do a half-ass job at work
Die without any consequences

A Breef History of LA

Gold!
Hey, the weather here is nice.
Whoops, we polluted it.
Gee I never noticed the highly flammable scrub brush that grows fucking everywhere.

Uber Drivers: Tips for Getting Tips

I am an Uber user.  I am happy to give a tip if the service is excellent, and happy to withhold a tip if I am unhappy.  The following are my suggestions to Uber drivers who want or don't want gratuities.

If yoo want a tip:
1.  Ask me what radio station I want to play
2.  Keep a spotless car
3.  Make intelligent conversation
4.  Make me feel welcome
5.  Drive well
6.  Reduce my stress level
7.  Odorless car

If yoo don't want a tip:
1.  Play bad music/talk shows
2.  Dirty/cluttered car
3.  Struggle with the English language
4.  Make me feel unwelcome/threatened
5.  Drive poorly
6.  Increase my stress level
7.  Stinky car (cigarette smoke, cologne, farts)

Toys Are More Than Toys

They are a test of Force-sensitivity, a work of Art, and a trophy of honor

If yer not getting better yer getting worse

If yer not learning every day, yer getting dumber, becuz others are getting smarter

For Jack

Sid sed, "Bodhisattvas are insentient to the rewards of merit."

That can be simplified to, "Bodhisattvas are insentient."

Just trying to help

2 Very Common Mistakes:

"I don't need to chew it, my stomach can take care of it."

"I don't need to rinse it, the dishwasher can deal with it."

Gentle Grooves (Mix)

1. Groove is in the Heart - Deee-Lite
2. Naked Eye - Luscious Jackson

3. Gentle Groove - Mother Love Bone

4. Hold Me Now - Thompson Twins (from the album, Into the Gap)

5. With a Little Luck - Wings

6. Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order (Track 1, from the album, Bizarre Love Triangle (US maxi DMD))

7. Biggest Part of Me - Ambrosia (from the album, One Eighty)
8. Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones

9. Foolish Beat - Debbie Gibson 

10. One More Try - George Michael 

11. Clocks - Coldplay 

12. Rocket Man - Elton John 

13. I Miss You - Blink-182
14. I'm Free Now - Morphine

Music Clichés

The 3 biggest clichés in music lyrics: 
1.  "What goes around comes around" 
2.  "Run away"
3.  "Love is all yoo need"

Smart Writing

If yoo liked 1984, this is another good one

Mix - "Skelebones"

"Skelebones"

1. Beginning to See the Light - Velvet Underground
2. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice

3. Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds
4. King for a Day - Thompson Twins
5. I Still Believe - Tim Cappello (from Lost Boys Soundtrack)
6. Flash's Theme - Queen (from Flash Gordon Soundtrack)
7. Holiday - Madonna
8. Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
9. You Keep Me Hanging On - Kim Wilde

10. Low - Cracker

11. The Boxer - Simon and Garfunkel

12. Golden Years - David Bowie

13. Take On Me - a-ha