Kid Things to Keep Doing as an Adult

Utter dependence upon God
Toys
Learn every day
Create art
Music
Take notes
Creative writing
Fashion sense
Fun

Bully Babies

Mothers, if yoo suspect your newborn son is going to be a bully, dont give him a traditional bully name like Brian, James or Paul — Do like the pioneers did, and give him a girl's name

Pamphlets

No I will not accept your religious literature.

"Accepting religious literature" is what got us into this whole mess.

On Buddhism

In Buddhism's blind quest to eliminate "desire" — It destroys the desire to live

Nothing but the Truth

Why is it so important to point out the irreconcilable contradictions of the Bible?

Because we need to know that it is NOT "God's Instruction Book."

Because we need an antidote to the unfounded fear taught by generations of Christians.

Because we need to figure out the truth.

Artistic Focus

Looking at one of Vincent's paintings makes me realize, there is nothing wrong with my eyes -- The problem is that most people's minds are out of focus -- My eyes focus perfectly on V's divine brushstrokes

Witchypoo

What do witches think about witchcraft?

"So it works. The constant disinformation, distraction, misdirection, confabulation, and endless stream of threats actually works."  - Emily Hauser

They think they are on top of the game.

Little do they realize that the Party is doing this same thing to them, only on a massive scale.

Half Baked

The lesson I learned from the movie "Half Baked,"
is that if yoo smoke super-potent weed,
yoo will do something super-stupid,
and end up in jail.

I'll Vote

I'm getting more comfortable with the candidates.  There seems to be a great love between them, becuz all they do is talk about each other.  They're like an old married couple who look the same, and just want someone to listen to their side of the story.

Premium Anti-Virus Software

I was once expertly advised to invest in premium anti-virus protection for my computer — and now my smartphone.

I cant convince my family it is necessary, so they end up with slow performance and malfunctions.

That free software just doesn't work — yoo need a paid subscription.


Now, if I could offer a piece of advice I learned:

Yoo don't need to run a full hard drive scan every week.  It can overwork your drive and cause it to crash.  Once every 6 months is, I think, adequate.

Basic Music Documentary

band sucks
band sucks
band sucks
a miracle occurs off-camera
the album is perfect

A Classic

If you only read one book your entire life, read "1984" by George Orwell.

Power Gifts

One of my therapists used to say, "You're giving away your power to your parents."

Now my response is, "Yes, but they're still together and healthy.  I think it's a good investment."

Now I've got power to spare.

Jesus' To Do List

1.  Become human
2.  Attempt suicide
3.  Hide

Christian Mingle

The Basic Christian Message is:

If yoo have blind faith in Jesus, yoo will go to Heaven!

But if yoo require objective evidence, you will burn in Hell forever!

My Take on "The Force Awakens" [Spoilers]

Without George Lucas' creative direction, Episode 7 was just a re-hash of Episode 4.

There's a robot lost in the desert with crucial information in its memory bank.

There's a planet-destroying weapon with no weaknesses, but hey we found a weakness and blew it up!

Speaking from Experience

Every time I go to a docter, I understand why they call it "practicing" medicine, becuz they don't really know what they're doing.

Yackity Yack

Jesus never asked for money, but he did pay his taxes.

Get while the getting's good

People LOVE to say, "Yoo only get what yoo give!"

Back in 1998, that band, New Radicals INSISTED it was the truth in that damn song.

Well, I've never given anyone a hoodie, yet somehow I own 8 of them...